Sometimes...life's just not fair

Some things in life have no explanation. They have no reason, and for the life of you, you can't understand why things happen. Last Friday I got some very awful, terrible, and completely unexpected news. Sheena, my partner teacher, passed away tragically and unexpectedly. She was an amazing woman and so full of life and energy. She was also 8 months pregnant, which sadly was the cause of her death.

It happened last Friday morning as the school day was about to start. Sheena is always at school around 8:15-8:30, usually the first one there but on this Friday, it was almost ten after nine and Sheena was not there yet. Not only that, no one could get a hold of her. She wasn't answering her cell phone or her house phone. This was the extreme opposite of Sheena's personality. If Sheena was going to be 20 seconds late, she would call and explain where she was. At first we thought she was having her baby, but as the morning went on, and no one could get a hold of her or her husband, everyone started to worry more and more.

As the day went on, I checked in with the administration at every break to see if they had heard from Sheena, and every time the answer was no. There was just a bad vibe in the school the whole day and it was really hard to answer my kids when they kept asking where Sheena teacher was, especially since I didn't have an answer. The kindy day was over and still no word from Sheena. I had to go teach another three hours without knowing where she was. With about 15 mins left in our last elementary class, Scott came over the speaker and told us to wrap up our class and send the kids to the shuttles to go home. This was strange because we are NEVER done early. As we were leaving the school Ellie, our assistant director, stopped me and told me that something very bad happened and that she would call me.

I went home and went for a run right away and when I got back, I had a missed call from Ellie. I called her back immediately and knew as soon as she answered that something was terribly terribly wrong. At first, she couldn't even say anything, then she finally got out the words that she had passed. Neither of us could say anything, we were both crying so hard. I didn't ask any questions right away because she was so distraught but she said she would call me when she knew more about the funeral and when we could see her.

I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I called my co-workers and told them. We were trying to find the words but there were none. We were trying to make sense of it but this was just senseless. About an hour later, Ellie called me back with details on the funeral and I asked what had happened. Sheena had had complications with her baby, she had something called eclampsia. This is when the mother has high blood pressure and the baby is very low in weight. Apparently, she was not feeling well Friday morning. Her husband had left for work before her and while she was getting ready for work, she collapsed. If it was indeed eclampsia, her death was sudden with no pain or suffering. I would like to think this was the case and that she died peacefully.

In the Korean culture, funerals are much different. There is no wake or funeral. How they do it, is they have certain hospitals that are funeral hospitals. In the hospitals are rooms dedicated to those who have passed on and in the room is a picture of the departed and other Korean traditional memorial items. We were able to go to the hospital on Sunday to pay our respects and say good-bye. It was very hard to see her picture and believe that it was all really happening.

As we were there, Ellie and a few other members of our administration arrived. I was glad they had come because I wanted to talk to them about what to tell the kids. Earlier, they had told us that they were not going to tell the kids the truth. They were going to tell them that Sheena had moved to the US to have her baby!! That Sheena was sorry she couldn't say good-bye and that she was never coming back!! I was shocked!!! I couldn't believe they would want to do this to the kids. Thankfully we got the chance to talk to our administration and tell them that we don't agree with lying to the kids. As we voiced our concerns, they did agree that telling the truth was the right thing to do.

After we left the hospital and made it through the rest of the day, I got a call from Ellie. She told me that they are canceling my classes for two days as they decided what they will tell the kids. I still went into school for a meeting and after sitting through 20 mins of Korean discussion, and not knowing what was going on, I finally spoke up and asked if someone could translate what was being said. Apparently the issue was with the moms. The school was having a hard time convincing the parents to tell the kids the truth. The administration was asking for resources the parents can use to help tell their kids. Since I didn't have to work that day, I spent the morning printing out resources and information for the parents and Ellie told me she might need my help convincing the parents to tell the truth.

Well, that is my past three days. It has felt like 3 weeks. I don't know what the next two days will bring. I don't have to go to school tomorrow but we have another meeting after school to discuss how to help the parents and how we will celebrate her life at the school.

I can only hope this ends how it should, with the kids knowing the truth, however hard it might be. I don't know how I will react when I see their little faces but I know I have to be strong for them. I am the only teacher they have now.